The Taste

Glad you could stop by for another post. To be honest, I've been thinking about doing a post on this show after the first episode. I changed the channel half-way through, so I felt like I couldn't give it a fair shake. But last night, I watched an entire episode. Now, I have to say something on it. Just as a warning, this post will contain lots of profanity. You have been warned.

Before I get into who these folks are, let me brake down the main set-up of this show. These four people are judging a bunch of peoples food on one single bite. But, it's a blind tasting. They each have teams, and they don't know if they are going to send one of their own home. Interesting, right?

First off, that set up is fucking retarded. When I eat, I don't try and shove every single item of food on my plate onto my fork. Not everything is meant to be eaten like that. Yes, the items should work with each other, but to devour all tastes on a plate in one bite is unrealistic.

Now, for these wastes of human flesh, otherwise known as the judges. The two in the middle, I don't know all that well and simply don't care that much about. It's the two mother fuckers at the the end which I have issues with, Anthony Bourdain and Ludo Lefebvre.

Bourdain has been a professional asshole for years. He worked at a restaurant in New York and now feels its his duty to shit on other peoples food and be a total bitch the whole way through. And how does he get rewarded for his years of arrogance? He gets invited to eat at some of the best restaurants in the world. Yeah, that's how it goes.

Ludo, on the other hand, is a different kind of piece of shit. If you don't know, he's French. So, automatically, he's already kind of a douche. It's in his blood. So what does he do? He becomes the biggest, loudest asshole he can be. He tries to be the poster child for every loud, screaming chef on earth.

I will say this: Ludo can cook. He is a talented chef. Probably the best chef on that panel. Those skills, while good, are no excuse for his behavior.

While I did have a few gripes with this specific episode, there is a bigger question at hand: Does the culinary world need this? Do we really need a bigger stage for assholes to act like even bigger fucking assholes? In my opinion, Fuck No!

I understand that the contestants are all trying to get paid and are willing to be ridiculed as harshly as humanly possible. But why keep making shows like this? How many times do we need to drag Susie Homemaker in front of some judges so they can tell her that the food she made was "Inedible" because it was a little too salty?

There was one thing that really pissed me off about this episode, more than anything else. The main goal in this episode was comfort food. Ok, no problem there. One of the people to get sent home was a lady that made an apple crumble, which is basically apple pie. Because the two Europeans don't know shit about apple crumbles, she got sent home. Sounds like bullshit, but maybe the food wasn't that good. The real kicker is what Bourdain told her.

I'm going to paraphrase here, because I didn't record it and I was too pissed off after it.

"Well, we are all some jaded, picky chefs here. Giving us something sweet wasn't the best idea." Are you fucking kidding me?!?!?! What the fuck is more comforting than a dessert??? What does being jaded have to do with not liking sweets? Plus, the fact that all of the judges nodded their heads in agreement showed they all share a similar ignorance.

For real, how are you going to have a cooking competition and totally disregard baking and pastries? It's just one more reason this show is a fucking joke. I'm telling you, it's fucking clown shoes. Don't waste your time with this one.

Of course, this is just my opinion. If you like this show, let me know why. Is there something I missed?

That's it for this one. I think I need a drink after this post.

I'm out.