Crab Cakes & Shlomo

Crab cakes are cool. I mean REAL cool. Like Samuel L. Jackson kinda cool. You see them on a menu, and your first thoughts are "Oh! They have crab cakes. That sounds good!". Then you see that you are gonna have to pay close to $10 for two, possibly three, crab cakes! It's almost like a sick joke. Yes, they are delicious and mouth watering. But they are gonna cost you an arm and a leg to enjoy them. Bullshit, I tell you!

I'm not sure when I first had them, but I know I really like 'em. It just bugs me how little you get when you order them. Pot stickers, a.k.a Gyoza, are the same way. Tasty, but you don't get your money's worth ordering them out. That's why I choose to make them if I want them.

Like all things, there are many ways to do crab cakes. You can pan fry the little suckers like I did, or do them in the oven, which is more of the Maryland way to do them. Even the number of ingredients can be a big issue. Some believe in few ingredients, so the flavor of the crab meat is the star of the show. Some people load up on spices and veggies to create a whole new experience. That part is really up to you. Personally, I usually stick to the "Less is More" style.

So, at this point, you are probably wondering about the "Shlomo" part of the title. Well, that's an odd reference to a deleted scene from the movie Wedding Crashers. I'm not gonna explain the whole scene because it won't sound as funny as the scene really is. You just gotta see it. All I will say is that Vince Vaughn is an idiot, and they mention crab cakes in the scene. Now, when I think of crab cakes, I think of that scene.

Let's get down business, shall we? I didn't really measure anything, so bare with me. First, you start with the most obvious thing, CRAB. On tv, the first thing they tell you is go run out and buy the lump crab meat. You can do that, just know lump crab is not cheap. You can go with the minced crab meat and it will be just fine. Here is a list of what I used in the mix.

CRAB!!!!
salt
pepper
dry mustard
worcestershire sauce
garlic
green onion
mayo
1 egg yolk
panko bread crumbs


I've seen some recipes that have twice as many ingredients. If you've never made it before, start with something like this to get a feel for it. If it's ok, than go nuts and add the kitchen sink. Here's what your bowl might look like.

Like my toes in the bottom-left corner? LOL. I was tired when I was doing this, OK?!?! Cut a brotha some slack! Anyway, just use a fork to mix everything together. The mayo is gonna be your main binder. Start light, with maybe 1 tablespoon, to see how well the mix stays together, You want it to be able to hold it's shape, but you don't want it too gummy. If it seems too dry, add a little more mayo to it.

Once evenly mixed and tasted to see if the seasonings are right, shape the mix into patties (The size is up to you) and coat with the panko bread crumbs.

Now it's time for the pan fry. And when I say pan fry, I really mean shallow pan fry. You don't need a pot 2 feet deep to cook these things. Put enough oil in the skillet to cover the bottom. Turn the heat up to med-high and don't drop the cakes in until the oil is nice and hot. I don't have exact times on when to flip them over. Use your head and your eyes. When you see the edges in the oil start to brown, check to see if you need to flip 'em. You are looking for golden brown, not jet black! When done, place on place them on a paper towel to get any excess oil.

If there's one thing I know, it's that crab cakes rarely fly solo. Their wing man? SAUCE! 9 times out of 10, you are gonna get an aioli with these lil guys. I was tired, and wasn't up for making anything very complicated. So, I took some Korean BBQ sauce and mixed it with mayo. DONE! I love Korean barbecue sauce. I try and keep it on hand. Here's another shot of the finished product.

Not to toot my own horn or anything, but I think these came out good. Not my best, but good. My mom seemed to love them. I was gonna bring a couple to work the next morning to have a couple co-workers try them, but moms wasn't very keen on that idea. I think this quote from her should sum it up. "Tell your buddies at work I was thinking of them as I'm taking this last bite!"

And there you have it. Not to complicated, and really good.

So, to end this right, here is Shlomo in all his glory. :-)

I'm out!!!

J. Miller