Hell's Kitchen

Glad you could make it back for another post. As you probably guessed by now, this one is about one of the true spectacles on television today. Hell's Kitchen brings you some of the best and worst qualities of "Reality" TV in a mere sixty minutes. For that, the show gets one complimentary slow-clap at the end of this post.

If you have never seen it, what the hell are you waiting for? You get so much drama in one hour! You get to see the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat. The games of strategy and back-stabbing manipulation all laid out before your eyes. Plus, you get to dimwits get yelled at and called Donkeys at every turn. It is quite a sight to behold!

Being in the food biz, you almost feel a slight obligation to at least peek at a food related show on network TV. You want to see if they are at least showing something that might resemble what it's like to do what we do. In the case of Hell's Kitchen, I would compare it to the likes of a cheesy horror movie.

For someone outside the biz, seeing Chef Ramsay yell and berate his cooks might be a scary sight. There has always been rumors of mean, tyrannical chefs tormenting everyone who works in the kitchen. The truth is, the reality of it isn't that bad. Yes, there are loud, angry chefs out there. Most cooks will be able to give you at least one story of being yelled at or called out in front of everyone on the line. But, the degree that Ramsay does it is down-right comical. From the obvious cursing and name calling to throwing pots and plates around like a spoiled child, Ramsay does whatever the little devil on his shoulder tells him to do. And the end results are ratings good enough for another season.

Some of you might be wondering why I would take so much pleasure in seeing people take that kind of abuse. Is it because I might be a bit sadistic? Of course I am! Aren't you?

The main reason I enjoy his yelling and screaming is because I know it's what EVERY chef and cook out there wants to do at one point or another. I couldn't begin to tell you some of the scenarios that run through my mind about yelling at the top of my lungs to some dingle-berry in the kitchen about their continual fuck ups! Or insulting my superiors to point of tears for their lack of....EVERYTHING! AAAARRRGGGHHHHH!!!!!

And that right there is the heart of the matter. This isn't a "reality" show for me, it's a fantasy. The reality is that you don't treat people like that. You don't act like a whiny child in front of your brigade or customers. Because if you try and treat someone like that who is making just above minimum wage like, your odds of getting stabbed or having hot oil thrown on you will increase substantially!

With that said, don't let the reality of it stop you from being entertained. Remember, these idiots signed up to be abused on camera. They are all striving for the prize at the end of the road and are willing to take anything Ramsay will throw at them. So save your pity for that poor seal being bludgeoned to death for it's pelt. Instead, saddle up for the ride known as Hell's Kitchen!

Food Haiku

Youth is no excuse
Your efforts disappoint me
Make it again, chef!