July 5, 2013

T.S.D.O.B: Day 25 - Food Obscenities


Only 5 more days left in this Thirty Straight Days of Blogging extravaganza! What I have for you today is something I think all of us have come across at least once. You see a food item, or plate of food, that is so outrageous that is ceases to remain as simply "food" and becomes something you might call a crime against humanity.

As long as we still need to eat to fuel our bodies, food will always have significant place in our lives. It seems, as of late, food isn't just holding a place in our lives, it's completely encompassing our entire being. This tight grip from food is causing creations in the culinary world that are down-right monstrous!

Let me start you off with a few examples:

The Luther Burger

If you have never heard of it, the Luther Burger was supposedly created by Luther Vandross. It's basically a burger that has donuts for buns.

I don't know if Luther created this thing or not, but goddamn! Donuts? I'd have to down a bottle of Black Label before getting the 'inspiration' to create something like this. It's just too much for my blood.

Next up, The Mother-In-Law sandwich.

I first saw this hellish creation on a show called The Sandwich King. The host is from Chicago and reps his city to the fullest. I can respect that.

As I'm watching the intro to the show(which is the most important part of any cooking show, so you can see all the food that's going to be made), he shows the Mother in Law sandwich. This fuckin' thing is a tamale laid in a hot dog bun and covered in chili. Really???

I paused the TV and yelled "WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS???" Who would intentionally put a tamale in a hot dog bun??? I was shocked! I know it doesn't seem that crazy, but I know every Mexican I work with would probably whoop my ass if they saw me do that!

Lastly, a creation that was surely created by one of the devils bastard children. That creation is......

DEEP FRIED BUTTER

The idea of eating a stick of battered and deep fried butter is just horrifying. I know bacon and deep frying are as popular as ever these days, but...what the fuck! Butter?!?! You can't do that! You shouldn't do that! This abomination needs to go back to whatever depth of hell it arose from!

In rare cases, the problem with one of these food obscenities isn't the fact that it may be crazy. The problem is that it wasn't crazy enough to make it special.

Sometimes, when something is so crazy, so deranged, that it defies all logic, it becomes a masterpiece. This is what the guys from Epic Meal Time have managed to do.

I could sit here and write what these guys do, but it's simply easier for you to see for yourselves.


It's....I mean....for real?

I'm speechless. I got nothing left after seeing the meat tank.

See you tomorrow!

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